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Written by Mark Kevin Smith
The old law states that only the areola had to be covered (OK, that’s pretty racy) with the new law from the areola and down must be covered. Uh Oh men we lose our side and bottom boob all in one law. Son of a bitch that’s harsh. What horrible atrocity did we do to deserve this. Well apparently some people were offended by the free the nipple movement.
Shit, If they did that to the top what about the bottoms. I’m sorry to say there are some big changes to the bottom section. Hang up your thong bikinis girls, you can’t wear these beautiful bikinis in Springfield anymore. The butt must be COMPLETELY covered top to bottom. After i read this law, i had to run to my calendar and see If it still was 2015, it felt like 1915, WTF. Is it illegal to sell thongs in Springfield? I don’t know.
Apparently it’s ok to be indecent as long as you are using it for freedom of speech.Ugg! Ok, if a women wants to tan her ass in a thong at a public pool then all she has to do is make a speech. Damn writing this article is giving me intestinal discomfort.
I feel i need to apologize to women everywhere on behalf of all the not so insane Springfieldians.
I have already spent way too much time on a subject that should have never become a subject to begin with.
Thanks for reading.

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